My Most Intense Post.. Ever (Ps. I was a Whale)

Vulnerability. Standing in my power. How do those ideas interplay? More than that, how do these ideas turn into reality, concepts we live and breathe every day of our lives?

Vulnerability.

Power.

When I started Waves of Fire, it was my intention to be vulnerable and transparent with my audience, with the world. I had been through so many times of intense crying, anger, and sorrow - waking up to the world. But I wasn't seeing that turbulence being honoured in the writing and work of so many life coaches, authors, and teachers. Where was the honesty? The vulnerability  Did these people not cry too? Not feel pain at all the abuse happening on this planet? In the beginning, I often felt like I was doing something wrong. Shouldn't I be happy all the time on this new path? Am I not controlling my thoughts well enough?

When I began blogging about my personal life, I decided - as hard as it may be to come out about the challenges I was facing, it was needed. The world didn't need more people projecting an image of perfection. The world needed warriors who would show the bumps and bruises they got along the way.

When we're fully in our truth, fully engaged with Spirit, life is a miracle. It's amazing. And peaceful. But we fall out of that. We get influenced by other's energy. We fall into our pain bodies. We overeat to numb the pain of animal abuse we can feel in our bones. We watch TV shows to avoid the pain of remembering that last news article we saw, of yet another oil spill. And at times, we let it all hang out and cry, cry, cry, for all of those in pain. For the earth, for the animals, for the people, the living dead, who sit there, doing nothing. Pretending. Ignoring the call.

I've learned that standing in my power means to honour these things. These realities of 'pain'. To honour that a part of my being is extremely heartbroken to witness forests falling, factory farms, and war torn states.

But along this path, I've come to know why I care so much. I've come to learn why I am so affected by news of environmental and animal abuse. I've come to believe in things, remember things, that I would once have deemed impossible - crazy even. And it all started to make sense.

As I continue onward - I'm learning to be even more vulnerable. Last week I pulled a card that said - "What would you do if you had one week to live?" - Among the thoughts were the understandable 'Call everyone and tell them you love them' - but something else came up.

I realized, I would write. I would write about what I believe. What I remember. What I'm unsure of but am starting to understand. I would tell the world what I believe in, when all the doors are closed. When I'm on my own. And it's no small thing.

But it's important. It's important for me to acknowledge what I'm about to write to you. It's important because my honesty has a chance of setting someone free. Of helping someone to believe in magic again. Of helping those beautiful light workers to remember why they came here, and just how important they are.

Listen as I take you into the depths of my soul.

Please, come with me.

HOW I SEE IT

At this time in my life, with the experiences, psychic + intuitive, physical + emotional, mental + indescribable that I've had.

I was a whale in a past life. In many past lives. An orca to be exact. I have dreams about them often, sometimes a few times a week, sometimes not for months. When they show up, I know to pay attention. Recently I had a dream about moving to Vancouver Island, and orcas were in it, guiding me, encouraging me, confirming what I already knew to be true.

When I was 11, I was in a gift shop - and they were playing music. Suddenly, some whale sounds came on. Something happened to me, and I fell into a trance. I said to myself "I feel like they're calling me" - but my rational mind kicked in just a second later and said "Don't be ridiculous".

I felt embarrassed, even in the confines of my own mind, for feeling that deeply about something my logic deemed silly.

Later on, I came to know, the sounds they were playing were those of the orca.

I've had moments of intense sadness and grief. Missing my family of the sea. I remember leaving. For this world of the humans. Knowing that the work that needed to be done would be most effective on land. Knowing that, as my fellow brothers and sisters were dying because of what was happening on earth, I needed to transition. I couldn't do anything more from the ocean, I had to take the body of a human.

I remember, deep within my being, asking them never to leave me. Agreeing to these lifetimes as a human only if the spirit of the orca was with me at all times. They agreed.

Yes, I realize how this sounds to the average human being. But to be honest, this is what is real. This is the truth. Life really is this magical and bizarre and wonderful and extraordinary. Allow yourself to believe it.

In posts to come I will keep going. What else do I remember? And more importantly, what do you remember? What can you allow yourself to recall? What depths of your soul have you closed off, because the outside world says it's too deep, too dangerous to explore?

Where do you come from? Who are you?

Til next time,
xo Beth